‘Throw me to the wolves and I will come out leading the pack.’
It’s a picture of my bare feet. Well actually it was the view beyond my feet, of the hammock in my backyard, and of the wildly majestic garden filled with organic produce beyond my painted toes. My heart says contentment, of perfection in the moment… and I have many of these moments now. Let me take a moment to get real with you. I have seen the backside of a live cow’s ass many times in my life; those cows now runnin’ fo they lives. Care for a filet, my friend?
There was a time when there wasn’t one thing right in my world. As a little girl, I recall skipping through my kitchen, getting a slivers from our floor because there wasn’t any carpeting, only sub-flooring. The night I realized there was no Santa because instead of a Christmas tree, we had decorated a houseplant and when someone knocked on the door and dropped off their sub-for-Santa donation to our home, I realized it was all a bunch of shit… and I realized I needed to have shame to have a place in life.
As a high school drop-out, unwed, and pregnant with a drug dealers baby at 17, I was on a straight an narrow path to Loserville. I expected something from life at this time, and those around me, expected similar; prison time, DCFS, death, or at least something along those lines.
Fast forward to the early years of my marriage when my husband used to hustle drugs to pay the rent, and instead of hustling them like a good drug dealer, he would take the drugs, and at one point, these bad business decisions left us homeless. Have you ever spent more than you make… that was this situation.
Another time, we had all the normal bills of a family, and despite my husbands rehabilitation, he was doing his best to support us on a full-time workers wage of $10.00/hr. Poor peoples welfare from the state barely made a dent, and I remember the exact moment when the repo guy came to pick up our car. Repo guy be like, “Yo, my 300 lb, 6’2″, dressed in black thug life clothes, driving the most badass tow-truck ever, tough ass gonna wrestle your sorry white ass to the ground if you don’t hand over the keys now, yo.” and I be like, “Please take them, sir!” all smily and happy and shit.That just ain’t why he took this job. He walked away, looking like a balloon when you blow it up and let it go without tying it.
the universe cannot resist authenticity
“The lemonade is $.25, would you like a stick of gum for $.10 as well, sir?” I said with a slight lisp, as the tiny version of myself at one point had fewer teeth. “Legit Entrepreneur in the Making,” should’ve been the caption on my t-shirt. 11 businesses in and I’m still making money.
I have lost hundreds of thousands of dollars, started up and shut down companies, bought and sold them, and all along the way, I treated everything in life with a heavy dose of curiosity and wonder. I have won the game many times over because of that one thing; curiosity. I wonder what will happen if I do this one thing differently. And guess what, I keep messing up and keep learning. Somedays, my knees are so scraped up I don’t want to get up and go. Somedays I can’t sleep one more minute because I am filled to the tip of my brain and heart with inspiration and excitement. Living life this way is an authentic and brave life.
Authenticity to ones true intuitive senses comes at a price: letting go of what you think it should look or be like, and just doing you, no matter the cost. The reward comes in the form of no regrets. Failure with a lesson learned. Energy. Wild Happiness. The ability to get back up quickly when you’ve hit rock bottom.
On average, women in the workplace only share 25% of their authentic nature, and men share 45% of theirs. Conclusion- no one is being themselves and we’re all punishing each other by not giving 100% of ourselves. Our passion and initiative is lost. Our sense of self, of pride, of belonging, all of that goodness is lost.
Our ability. to connect with. each other. is our own. inauthentic. asses. fault.
What is gained through this is a place to belong, where we will be able to duck our heads down, day in and day out and do our job. Our paycheck gets deposited in our account, and when we get sick, we don’t worry about calling the doctor to schedule an appointment for medicine. We are not happy or sad, well or ill. We are humans, just doing our best to get by so we can have a glimpse of happiness.
WHAT DO YOU WANT? Blow the glass ceiling to shards and rise up. Do what you want to do, and do it well. Communicate your joy, your fears, your desires with people around you. The more you express what’s inside of you, the more your happiness comes through.